Which I commanded not, nor spake it, neither came it into my mind.

One thing that frustrates me the most is when my words or actions or are misinterpreted for evil when I intended them for good. This seems to happen a lot, so it must be that I am terrible at communication. I know that can be the case.

Other times, I wonder if the misinterpretations are a reflection of the person making the false accusation. This is called Projection. When we find ourselves judging the inner intentions or thoughts of others, we are in most danger of false accusations and slanders. We are also in danger of revealing ourselves. I know I have done this, so I should not get upset when it is done to me. It can be very frustrating though, and it makes me want to refrain from saying or doing any good. It tempts me to call those who I consider friends, family, or loved ones my enemy. I’ve removed myself from people for such things.

Blessing is made into cursing. A “God bless you” is said to be somehow rude or charged with hidden attack, when in reality, I see the person as greater than myself, so what do I have to offer? What blessing can I give? The best blessing I know is to say, “God bless you,” because He gives all good things.

I’m always trying to one-up people, supposedly. In reality, I do not have a competitive or maliciously envious bone in my body, and this makes me an easy target for people who actually want to one up me, and I’m always confused by that. It’s not hard to be better than me, and I try to be open about my faults. Of course, I have an agenda there, too. In reality, I like to be honest about the shortcomings that I am aware of, work with other people, take in their ideas, and consider their strengths because I value the good things God gives them. I do not like to be accused of thinking I’m better. When in reality, I feel less than most people.

I think I get this accusation because I am very direct, and I do not shy away from standing up for what is right. It isn’t a personal thing, but people do take it personally when you point out their wrongdoings. I can be rough around the edges because I do not beat around the bush. I hate subtly, even when it should be called for. People don’t like being told the truth. I am learning tact and Godly subtlety. It is hard for me. Generally, I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I hate nuance, and I hate reading between the lines of what other people say, so I try to be blunt in all things.

I can give gifts to someone in need and help them out during times of trouble, and it is assumed that I want something in exchange. There must be strings attached, or I’m doing good “to be seen of men.” Could it not be that I give because I know what it is like to have little and to struggle, so any relief I can bring makes me feel happy?

I like to give to others things I do not myself have. If I feel down, I give encouragement, for example. Not because I need it from others, but I need it from God, and He often rewards us for being that way. I think some of my best writing is done in my lowest states. I also think about the scripture that says, if someone has need and you have it beside you, do not withhold it. So, If I have it, I give it. Even if I don’t technically have it to give in the long-term. Jesus said so, and this is one teaching I can do happily.

Blessing those that curse you, not so much. I have a very hard time with that, especially in regards those those who want to take the good that I would do and turn it into evil, exaggerate my faults, or look for reasons to sow conflict between myself and others using triangulation. Actually, I do hold my tongue a lot. I see a lot more than people think I do.

If people want to see me in such a bad light, then they might just get what they see. If I were actually as people accuse, it would not go well for them. I can be a fool at times, sure, but I’m no dummy either. I thank God that I don’t have it in my heart to do some of the things I am intellectually capable of, even when it is tempting. I pray that I am never tempted beyond what I can bear.

Then, I think about scripture like the one mentioned in the title. People are always taking the things that God does and making them evil when they are not. People are always putting words in His mouth by mishandling what He says, or attributing His deeds as evil when He only has the best intentions for us. If He can put up with it, perhaps He will help me do the same.

Here is another fearful thought. His words test us. I can see how that is true. When we judge the heart of God in how we use His word, we reveal things about ourselves. I need to be most concerned about how I handle His words. I try to be careful. One day, He will defend His Name and it will not go well for many. I will help if I can. If I have His back, then He will have mine. He already does. He has my back and teaches me so I can have His. Be careful with your accusations.

I write this in part for selfish reasons, I admit. I am venting because I do not want a “root of bitterness” in my heart. I also write this so that some might consider. The accuser is our enemy. Do not serve him. I try to be aware of this, too.

“They have built also the high places of Baal, to burn their sons with fire for burnt offerings unto Baal, which I commanded not, nor spake it, neither came it into my mind”

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