Does Anyone Have Faith?

For most of my life, I thought that everyone was a Christian because most people said that they were. I grew up in a family of people who said they were Christian. The people I went to school with were Christians. It was rare to hear of someone who did not believe in Jesus.

Now, I wonder if anyone has faith. I could get into reasons why I wonder this, but what matters more is the fact that I do have faith. I’m prone to that oh so yucky felling of self-pity. Oh, poor me without real fellowship. People don’t seem to really care about what it means to take up the faith, and many all-out reject and despise Christianity openly as this becomes normal.

I also give into fear. I worry about my kids. I thank God that I have a good relationship with them, so I hope that I can lead them in the faith despite us being surrounded by unbelief or nominal belief. I also know that faith is a gift from God, and I hope that He will give them faith despite the challenges they will face as they grow older.

I don’t worry about my own faith anymore, but I do want to grow in faith and be a better example of the faith. I know that I fall short, and I feel pressured to do better so that those around me might come to faith or come to better faith. I feel like a failure. Has the salt lost its savor? What am I good for? Self-defeating thoughts kick in, and that’s no good either.

Self-pity. Fear. Impatience and self-deprecation of an ungodly sort. These are not productive or helpful. Rather, I should be thankful. For whatever reason, I do have faith–and this is the gift of God.

He gave me real faith that produces a desire to know Jesus, not just the facts, but to experience a change of nature that makes me more fitted for His kingdom. He gave me real faith to know that sin is not acceptable in any measure, and faith to know that He will reward my striving against sin so that I can stand strong in Him among unbelief. I will raise my sons to be strong in Him, because their being born had a role in turning me to Him in the first place and I don’t believe in coincidence.

I need to learn to be patient and to also have faith in His will and timing, which do not bend to my will or impatience in any measure. My will is to have everyone I love become full of faith and for us to live together in a way that honors Him. My will is to openly praise the Lord all the day long in all things that we do, to find out how we can serve Him, and to grow one another as we add to the each other’s faith.

Maybe this is not God’s will. I know many people believe that we choose to believe in Jesus. I believe that faith is given and we cannot just choose it. Maybe His will is for me to learn to look at Him and not at the unbelief that I’m surrounded by. Maybe His will is for me to focus on learning more about who He is and how I can be conformed to what He means, not to convert others, but just to be and to wait for Him to do what He will do.

My worry about the salvation of others consumes me, and maybe it is time to let go of that. I feel tempted to consider many as unbelievers, even when they say they are believers, and I don’t want to go down that road. The Lord’s will be done. I just need to know better what that means.

I pray for people who feel surrounded by unbelief. What a difficult place that is to be, and I am amazed that we have faith at all. How precious it is! God was good to us, and it’s not like we deserved it or that we are more worthy than anyone else. He chose us, and we have to figure out what He would have us to do, which seams to mean that we get to know Him and experience Him work in us as we strive against sin, if for nothing more than to just be. To just live and be rejected like He was. Maybe that is not so bad after all, especially if we want to be like He is.