Terrible Mothers: Sabotaged Education

Fathers are of fundamental importance, but as a mother, I think a lot about the importance of good mothering.

My relationship with my own mother has been strained—and that is putting it lightly. Due to lack of proper example and a slew of mental/emotional problems I carried, I did not know how to be a good mother myself.

I made some big mistakes during the first few years of my sons’ lives. I have learned since and worked hard to reparent my kids—but first I had to reparent myself—and neither have been easy.

My third son was born a year ago, and he has a totally different mother than my first two sons had. It shows, and I lament that the first two did not have what he has, though I trust that God is in control and I can already see how He is using the past to shape them in a good way. They are all great kids, and I am so blessed and thankful for them.

Why am I writing about this?

I don’t know if this is a case of “much learning has made you mad,” but I see a connection.

As a Christian, isn’t the church our mother?

Did we have a good mother?

I’m not so sure we did. Maybe I am projecting, but I see some interesting correlations between things my own mother did and things the church has done.

For example, my mother purposefully sabotaged my college education. I was going to be a child counselor or a child psychologist. I wanted to help kids who grew up like I did. That did not happen. Even though I received scholarships, my mother made sure that my college application failed. She later admitted to doing so.

I feel like our church mother has sabotaged our education too. Our pastors are poorly trained, it seems. It seems like our church mother has sabotaged us…whether willingly or not…I cannot say.

Here is what led to this train of thought this morning:

This week I am working on an article about the different views on the rapture, and how I believe there is no rapture—only the resurrection and transfiguration. My one year old woke me up at 4 this morning, so I got an early start after putting him back to sleep.

I spent an hour reading educational articles from real seminary schools about the pretribulation rapture, and they are so terribly done.

I’ve been postponing this project because I was afraid that I might have trouble going against the educated, but now I marvel at how easy this is going to be.

So many scriptures taken out of context. So many half truths and false ideas.

What’s worse is these are our pastors, and they are brought forth from a corrupt mother. I am concerned…but I also trust in God.

Just as God allowed my mother to sabotage my education for my good, because I would not be who or where I am today otherwise, I know that God allows our church mother to sabotage our spiritual education.

I get how the idea I pose can be upsetting for people, but this is a hard reality that we should consider. That does not mean that there are not some amazing pastors. I’ve met a few who I have respect for. Maybe some doctrines are off, but they love people and encourage Christ-like living. That is what matters most.

I don’t blame well-intentioned pastors. I know that some are unbelievers, and they are just in it for the perks. However, I know that many are sincere and probably a bit brainwashed by a lifetime of church going and seminary school. Their mother corrupted their education.

I do blame our mother—the system that brings forth all Christians in general.

Life is interesting, and the working of God in our lives is astounding.

I was raised by a terrible mother, and I was a terrible mother. Yet, I love my kids and God was good to me and changed me so that I could be a better mother. This experience made me passionate about mothering, and I speak out about it on occasion.

I was also raised by a terrible church mother, but God was good to raise me up away from her and show me how corrupt she is—and to show me how corrupt I am and work in me to change me more into His likeness (I still have far to go). This experience made me passionate about encouraging the faithful church, and my entire ministry is devoted to this.

I had to reparent myself before I could reparent my own kids, and I also had to relearn the Christian faith before I could teach others. I think many Christians need to reparent themselves in the faith, and I am thankful that the Lord has raised some up to help us do just that.

I don’t like speaking ill of my mother–both my earthly mother and the church. I tried for years to have a relationship with my earthly mother. She kept doing damaging things without repentance. Another witness spoke out against these things, and now both of us consider this mother to be our mother no longer unless she repents. I don’t want the same fate for my church mother.

Am I making vain connections, or is my life prophetic? I don’t know. God created my mind to be one that sees connections and patterns in things, and I think in metaphor a lot.

So, take it for what it’s worth. I am not a good judge of my own prophetic ideas. I feel partially blinded, so I publish them for the elders of the church to judge. I think it is an interesting idea in any case, and I am sorry for all who were failed by their mothers—both in this earth and in the church. Most importantly, I know that God causes all things to work out for our good. I also know that He preserves all who belong to Him, and nothing can separate us from Him.

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