For most of my teenage and adult life, the term “sin” made me think about pulpit pounding preachers and snooty church ladies wearing fancy clothes.
Other than this vague connotation that I carried around in the back of my mind somewhere, I did not think about sin that much.
I was not always that way.
As a child, I loved the Lord. I talked to Him all the time. I tried to read the bible and understand. I especially loved the Sermon on the Mount, and I wanted my life to reflect those teachings. I wanted to be like the Jesus I saw on those old 70’s movies at my grandma’s house. I did not know the Lord that well, but the idea of Him was very dear to me and I wanted to serve Him.
By the time teenage years were in full swing, the Jesus I loved was placed on a shelf somewhere in the recesses of my heart and mind, only to be taken out on occasion.
I believed that I was saved, that everyone sinned, and that I was forgiven no matter what I did. I always had a nagging feeling. Some part of me knew that I was not living for the Lord, but I pushed that aside until the nagging feeling went away. Then came the darkest years of my life.
In my late 20’s, I found myself in a hopeless situation. The sins I had thoughtlessly allowed to run and ruin my live were so detrimental to my mental health that I wanted to die. I had tried everything to stop the emotional torment, but nothing helped. I tried drinking, drugs, medication, and various “spiritual” and “religious” practices that were not Christian. I still considered myself a Christian, but I was on the brink of giving up the faith.
I prayed to Jesus and a series of events caused my life to change. I began to see my sin clearly and I took it very seriously. So seriously, that I fell into another sort of depression. I had been recently taught that receiving the Holy Spirit would help me overcome sin. I spent about a year and a half asking for the Holy Spirit, and in late January of 2016 my prayer was answered.
I did find that some sins were taken away and I received things that I did not expect. The change was so drastic, that at first, I thought that I might be sinless. I soon found out that I was not, but I believed that I could and should be. I believed that unless I found my way out of all sin I would not be saved. I became hard on myself, and at times, hard on others.
I became much like those pulpit pounding preachers and snooty church ladies I once hated. How did that happen?
Jesus continued to work on my heart, and I believe to have a more balanced perspective on sin and Christian life in general. I’m still learning.
In this series, I want to take some time to think and write about sin. What is sin? How does sin affect our lives? How does the gospel relate to our sin? Can a Christian live a sinless life in this present world? How should Christians treat sinners?
If this is something you’d like to discuss or learn more about, I welcome you to subscribe to this blog or leave a reply below.